what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
