I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
