I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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