I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
