Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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