So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
