If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
