there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
operation have a gay friend backfired
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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