I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
