Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
