I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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