It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
