no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
