Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Actions speak louder than pants.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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