Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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