we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
