I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
