can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
