if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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