Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
