it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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