If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
