i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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