What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
