I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
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