i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
