Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
