I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize