somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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