There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
