the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
