Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Randomize
