Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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