My friends, they love my intelligence
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I still have a little drunk in my system
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
