Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
