Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
