ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
