I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
