yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I understand Curling. That high.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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