I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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