That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
