I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
