When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
They have beer where we have blood.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
