There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
