You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
