have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
