apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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