I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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