Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
worst night to have a conscience
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
