I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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