Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
