On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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