Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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