Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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