Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
