I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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