the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
