It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
