The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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