Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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