We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
